Chapter 2: Strategies for Working With Difficult Students
This chapter was packed with suggestions and strategies. I liked the way Mendler divided the chapter into Prevention strategies and Intervention strategies. Certainly the more time we initally spend on prevention strategies and on addressing the author's 6 Pillars for Success in our classrooms, the less time we will spend dealing with difficult behaviors later. When you think of a challenging student that was difficult to deal with, could you have done more to prevent the behavior? The author suggests projecting confidence, setting up clear, specific expectations and letting students know that you will not spend precious class time handling poor behavior. He also suggests working twice as hard to connect with irritating students. I loved the reframing strategy and the 2 minute intervention. I challenge you to implement one of those two strategies in your classroom this year!
We've all worked with difficult students and we know that they need consistency and support. Too often, school is the only consistent, positive environment they encounter. We need to plan intentional ways to set these students up for success each day. What will you do in your classroom?
Stephanie
Reading this chapter made me think of all the fifth grade children I taught at a previous school. Some of those students were the toughest group I had ever taught. As Stephanie stated we need to remember that to some of our children school is the only consistent, positive environment they encounter.
ReplyDeleteI like the part where Mendler states that we need to create a classroom so that it is warm, welcoming, and supportive place where all feel a sense of community. We need to be a cheerleader for our students. In my reading workshops I always begin by saying we are a family and we don't make fun of how people read. We are learning together. I want students to feel comfortable in my room especially if learning is difficult for them. I found that usually the students I had the most difficult time with were those who had a horrible home life or school was tough.
Making positive phone calls home to the parents of those students who are the most challenging is one good way to begin. Sometimes it might be hard to find something positive to say, but we have to try. It makes it so much easier when you have to call with a concern. I will never forget calling home for one of my students and having the parent say, "What did he do now?!?" What a surprise they had when I said, "I am so proud of _____. He had an awesome day!" It is so important for the kids to see and hear that you believe in them and even brag about their successes. For some, who else will? I wish you could see the faces of the kids I teach when I call them the "gifted" kids or tell them how smart they are. They just beam! :)
Relevance is so important for children. Why do I need to know this? I thought about Ruby Payne when Mendler mentioned telling a group of juvenile delinquent adolescent boys how much more money they were likely to make if they earned a high school diploma. I tell this to the ESOL students that they are so lucky to know two languages! They can earn more money by knowing both English and Spanish. They love it!
I liked the section entitled "Things to say or do once you calm yourself down". How many times do we think "I can't believe he just said that to me! I am in charge here! Who does this kid think he is?" After taking a deep breath it is important to remember what Mendler called the "Four-steps-or-fewer intervention". This is key so that you can get back to instruction. Of course the section on what to do if the "four-steps-or-fewer" isn't enough was great! The examples Mendler used were interesting (I hope I don't encounter some those! Wow!) I like the one where the student says "I hate you!" and the teacher's reply "That's ok because I am not here to be liked!" I would add I am here to help you learn.
As I said before this chapter really hit home for me. Those years were the most challenging teaching years in my career, but the most rewarding!
Can you imagine if some of those comments were thrown at us by students?! Yikes! But the message of not taking it personally and dealing with it in quick fashion so as to get back to the important work of teaching is so true. What a wealth of ideas this chapter offered for doing just that... If only I can remember them in the "heat of the moment!"
DeleteThis section definitely hit home for me as I had a challenging student this past year. My entire goal (and for the other teachers that worked with them) was to try and prevent as many disruptions as possible that would affect this student. By the last week of school, I had learned to take things one day at time with them, and just keep reinforcing positive qualities and trying to curb the negative ones.
DeleteHeather, I loved the section on "Things to say or do once you calm down" as well. Just taking that little bit of time to reflect can really help shift the perspective. :)
I can't help but think about some of the students I worked with in a high poverty school in Aberdeen, Maryland many years ago. Some of you have heard me tell the story of the student that brought a trash bag of "treats" to school on his birthday. His mother (or someone) had gotten a box of obviously half eaten doughnuts out of a trash dumpster and sent it to school. The first year teacher of the student came to me in tears when she discovered that the treat was too dirty to serve, obviously from the trash. This upper middle class teacher's world was rocked! This incident illustrated for her the importance of school in this child's life and the lack of resources in his world. Needless to say, I went to Dunkin' Doghnuts and got a fresh box of treats for her class. The students celebrated his birthday as if nothing had happened. School is the most positive, consistent environment for so many students. We need to see things from their perspective to truly teach them well!
ReplyDeleteGood example of how nice it will be to celebrate all students' birthdays as an FDES family this year rather than only those whose parents have the means to do so!
DeleteI had the priviledge of teaching 5th and 6th graders Bible Study at my church this week. It was a real eye opener as far as receiving students from all of the elementary schools. It gave me a deeper sense of appreciation for the diverse backgrounds the students come from. I had one child in particular who seemed hard to reach. I asked him what I could do to make him smile and he replied "Give me something to eat." On another night he had a melt down due to another student. Words were said that shouldn't have been said in the House of the Lord. However, I was able to calm him down and he agreed to do an art activity with me in the hall and eventually returned to the group. I told him I had a surprise for him to reward this behavior. He asked "Is it something to eat?" Wow! Needless to say, we set up his family with some food. However, it is important to remember where these kids come from because it affects everything they do. Sometimes I forget this in my quest to master SOLs. However, that is not the Big Picture. In the course of trying to get this child to calm down and deal with the situation, I recommended that he tell his friend that he hurt his feelings. He responded "Not to be racist, but those are white people's words." I responded that everybody hurts no matter the color of your skin. My time was too short (one week) with this child, and it would take more trust building and time before I could even think of breaking into his world. So many beliefs are ingrained in our students before we even receive them. What a challenge and necessity it is to get to know each and every one of our students each year! I have a long way to go and I don't think it is something that a teacher can ever be done learning.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you had quite an experience, what a blessing that you had the time to give and serve in this way...and as you have shared were blessed in return!
DeleteWhat a wealth of information this chapter provided! My mission with my difficult students has always been to work harder at developing a strong relationship, make them feel important and successful, and give them structure and expectations. None of us know what baggage our students bring to school each day~so at school it is very important that we provide those students with the above.
ReplyDeleteI especially liked the Helpers Everyone? strategy. Students are encouraged to help at least one person at school and one person outside of school each day. Then they are to keep a helper's journal. As it stated, research suggests that by doing acts of kindness a person's happiness can be increased.....
Again, a wonderful chapter that I have tabbed with things I want to utilize...to help me remember all these great ideas!
Motto for the year.....
MAKE A SMILE YOUR STYLE TODAY! (It's contagious!!)
I like your smile moto maybe we can adopt is school wide and have the Panda Pals spread or focus on this....
DeleteI loved this chapter. The ideas and suggestions to building student responsibily for themselves and others, as well as encouraging them to see their daily success are powerful.
ReplyDeleteFavorite quote from this chapter, "In addition to doing the right thing for oneself, responsiblility grows when it is expected that students will look out for each other". Not a math, reading, science, social studies based skill but a life skill.
I so agree Mary Beth!!!
DeleteThis chapter was loaded w/ suggestions that can be implemted in practical ways and as mentioned by those of you above reminders not to take things/comments personnaly, don't "engage in the battle". I liked the reminder that the best way to promote responsiblitly is w/ involvement, ownership and choices w/ limits, again this echos all we teach in love and logic. When we tell students and order students or threatening we are actually giving the message that they "can't make it w/o us" can't think or solve it on their own. As adults we have to be flexible and keep our eye on the goal, improved learner success, not winning a "power struggle". This chapter also reminds us that many of our students truly do not believe they can be successful, they compare themselves w/ others and become discouraged if whatever is "magically" happenind in someone's else's brain is not happening in theirs (Patricia Poloco, Thank You Mr. Falkner). Then we they get the message from the adult that they are not performing up to expectations, they give up. This chapter reminds us that our students need a support system in their teacher/teachers. Just lots of good reminders/suggestions on how to connect w/ students and encourage. The Baker's dozen ways for success are great ideas!! Again, think outside the box, the idea is for student success or to demonstrate understanding/knowledge and that can look different for different students! :) We have to be careful in our communicating not to come across w/ sacrasm, this will just back fire on us and shut students down, some samples in the chapter I felt bordered that way and you would have to be careful if using them. Again, I like the reminder to have FUN! and show Enthusiasm. Good Book.....
ReplyDeleteThis chapter was certainly full of useful techniques in dealing with difficult students. The section on having clear procedures was most helpful to me. With the pressures of student scores and a hefty year's worth of curriculum looming ahead, I too often jump right into academics at the beinning of the year and don't spend enough time setting up the classroom procedures. It's not enough just to tell students what I expect. We must actually practice the procedures, reinforce them, and then review them often. I'm currently reading another teacher resource book recommended by Laurie Y. called The Daily 5 Fostering Literacy Independence in the Elementary Grades. That book and Mendler's book share similar views on giving children independence, responsibility, and clear procedures. The Daily 5 gives an extensive description for how to effectively introduce certain student procedures such as reading independently that I plan to implement.
ReplyDeleteIn Mendler's book I also loved the idea of not stopping lessons to focus on misbehavior. If I can make that work, I will definitely have accomplished something! I think sharing with my students the two reasons why and the teacher's explanation on page 32 will send a clear message to the students that I value not only their learning, but also their integrity. My hope is that I will remember to revist this chapter throughout the year as the need arises.
The author's ideas on homework were right on target. keeping the outcomes in mind and not making homework or classwork a battleground. If a student can get some benefit from a modified assignment- it is win win for all concerned.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. This past year, homework was not going to be a battle between my students and myself. Rather than dwelling on homework not completed, I set up a system where students that completed homework or attempted to complete would earn points. Also points could be earned if homework was turned in late, not a whole point but only a half. After earning a set amount of points, the students would then have lunch with me or extra computer time. This incentive worked well because students that were not completing homework eventually did. Plus, knowing they could still gain points for homework even if turned in at a later time was a huge success. Homework became a win-win situation for both my students and me.
DeleteI'm overwhelmed by the excellent thoughts and ideas in response to this chapter. I am so proud to be leading such an amazing group of teachers! This is a powerful chapter - one that will we will revisit a great deal, I'm sure. I also like the Helpers Everyone strategy from the chapter that Laurie Y mentioned. It could easily be adapted to adults helping adults each day too - at school and outside of school. I look forward to hearing more from all of you...great to see John joined the discussion!
ReplyDeleteThis chapter truly is filled with many helpful suggestions that I feel can be adapted or modified based on the age of the student. I like the idea of keeping a Helper's journal as well, reminding students to do something kind for someone in or out of school each day. This is a great way to model positive behavior, build community in the classroom, and foster a sense of responsibility. I think I could implement the "helper's journal" as a whole group discussion as we wrap up our day. I also love the example of the teacher putting the student who was possibly stealing from the class in charge of her personal belongings! Amazing how the theft seemed to diminish after she implemented this strategy =)
ReplyDeleteI'm planning to revisit this chapter as the need arises throughout the year.
I know I have been repetitive about my student teaching experiences, but so far that is all I have to go on. I constantly was asking for advice of behavior management and I finally learned that everyone has a different way of doing this. I think each teacher has a plan that fits them and works well, and no two are alike, but with many similarities.
ReplyDeleteI love creating a feeling of family in my classroom. Just as a family at home, there will be wonderful memories to be made, but we will also have challenges that we will have to tackle together. A classroom should be the same. I also found that it is hard sometimes to find that balance between being very comforting and friendly with students while still mantaining authority. It took me a good week when I first stepped into a classroom to get " The Teacher Voice". It was always funny talking with my classmates about creating our teacher voices.
I also agree that discipline should not take away from class time or a difficult student should be used as an example for the other students by putting them on display. The saying "The one who is most difficult to love, needs love the most" is so true in classrooms.
I like to give my "challenging students" small tasks to do. I find that when you show you trust them they want to keep your trust and enjoy being the teacher's helper.
ReplyDeleteI would also stand outside my classroom door every morning and say good morning to my students. It sounds silly, but saying hello to every single student helped me see who was coming in crabby, happy, sad, etc. It was also a great time to take extra time and have a little convo with the challenging students. I would give them a little reminder of what I expect from them today or remind them how they had a great day yesterday and I would love to see another.
I also like giving my students a journal every Monday to write about their weekend and on Wednesday a free write. After morning meeting we had Author's Share and the students who wanted to share their journal had the chance. This was a great way for students to share special events in their lives and feel special.
I always try and build a good relationship with the difficult students early on in the school year. I find that it's these students who most need someone to believe in them. Children often act out when they think that no one is on their side. By letting these students know we truly care about them, we have the ability to melt away their tough exterior and see what is truly bothering them. We also have the ability to help them reach their potential because they really do want to make us proud of them.
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